Thirty

I've been thinking a lot lately about turning thirty and how I feel about it. I think that, to me, it's a big deal partly because of how society makes a big deal out of it but also because I think going from one decade age to the next means leaving behind an old part of your life and starting a new one.

I remember turning 20 and having a hard time with it. To me it meant that I was officially a grown up. I was leaving behind my teen years and everything that went along with it: being carefree, sleeping till noon, spending your money on clothes, shoes and make up, feeling like you could be and do whatever you wanted, not being responsible for anyone else but you. Then I turned twenty and it suddenly felt like the world regarded me as this adult and I was expected to do adult things like vote, get a meaningful job, start figuring out what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. I was right to feel a little bummed.

But my twenties turned out awesome because it was during my twenties that I met my husband, got married, moved to another country, had two beautiful children and bought my first home. I'm just hoping that my thirties bring as much good stuff to the table as my twenties did while I still try to figure out who I am.

Is that normal? Not knowing who you are by the time you're thirty? I always thought that by thirty I would be finished. Finished growing up, finished growing as a person but I'm starting to realize that it doesn't always happen that way and that's fine with me. I like the idea of still learning new things to help shape me into the person I am meant to be. Having children helps with that. They teach you new things all the time and by the time they're grown and trying to figure their own selves out, they'll have children of their own and the process starts all over again. It's never ending. Life is grand, isn't it?